


Your Guardian Angel

by sooshidamachi



Category: ITZY (Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:42:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26057410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sooshidamachi/pseuds/sooshidamachi
Summary: I will never let you fall, even if saving you sends me to heaven.
Relationships: Choi Jisu | Lia/Shin Ryujin
Comments: 1
Kudos: 14





	Your Guardian Angel

I was a sophomore, you were a freshman.

I didn't know what I saw in you, but the moment you entered the room my gaze never left. You were attractive and I was a newly discovered bisexual; it was obvious where this was going.

There was this swagger in your steps that made it hard for you to go unnoticed; a glint in your eyes that no one can miss; something about you that's left unspoken but everyone knows.

And your smile. Don't get me started on your damn smile.

"So," Yeji said while we were walking home. "You like her?"

"What?" My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Who?"

"Ryujin. That girl with highlights in her hair."

"Yeji, I-"

She snorted. "Don't even bother.

"It was obviously love at first sight."

* * *

You made it in the dance troupe, I was in the choir. But somehow we made it work.

You spend more time talking than eating during lunch, I spend more time telling you to eat your food than I eat mine.

I will forever be grateful to whoever aligned our paths as we walk in the same direction home- your arm linked in mine as you and Yeji go over the day's choreography. We were two opposite ends of the social spectrum but we always met in the middle.

I was happy, so _so_ happy with you. Even when the skies were a darker gray, you never ceased a bright smile; chased away the gloom with a type of shine that the sun could be jealous of.

_How are you real? You're so ethereal._

"Ryujin!" I yelled. "Come back here, you'll get sick!"

"But it's so much fun!" you exclaimed, the rain already soaking your clothes to your skin. "Come on, join me!"

"And we'll both be sick?"

"We'll be _fine!"_

I believed you then. I always have and will.

"Do you trust me?" you asked with those eyes.

I just shook my head and ran to you. The rain was cold but your embrace warmed me, the melody of your chuckle melting my heart. There was always something about your hugs, something about you that's irreplaceable.

"Don't leave me, kid." I whispered.

"I won't."

It sounded like a promise. I hope you'll keep it.

* * *

Some nights were darker than others, days felt longer but at least moments with you were fleeting.

It was one of those nights again; where the stars were hiding and the moon was too lonely- where the whole world was so quiet I couldn't hear anything other than my thoughts. It was cold and I already have two blankets, but nothing could ever compare to your warmth.

You must be sleeping soundly, and I'm glad. But even through pacing thoughts and overthinking you never left my head- you were my light at the end of the tunnel.

My phone suddenly lit up. The name adorning the screen was the last one I expected, but it was who I needed most.

_Can I call?_

I didn't think you'd be awake. I didn't think I'd type _sure_ and press send.

Two moments later your name popped up. Everything's a mess and I feel like dreaming, but when I pressed the phone to my ear I remembered that you were a dream come true.

_"Hi."_

"Hey."

_"What are you doing up? Shouldn't you be sleeping by now?"_

"I should be asking _you_ that, kid. Wasn't today's routine a bit rigorous?"

You snorted. _"You and your fancy words. I'm okay, Lia. Not tired enough to sleep, obviously, but okay."_

I hummed. _That's good enough._

_"How 'bout you? Are you okay?"_

The question caught me off guard for some reason. _Why did it feel different coming from you?_

"Sing me a song, kid?"

_"Whaaa? Why me? You're the one in the choir."_

"Please? I see you jamming with Chaeryeong and Yuna all the time, under that one tree in the quad near the school fountain."

You sighed. I imagine you running your fingers through your hair like I do sometimes.

_"Why can't I say no to you?"_

"You love me."

You chuckled, then there was this somberness in the air that I may have imagined. This realization hanging onto the atmosphere with the tension.

 _"I do,"_ you say. My heart skips a beat. _"Just let me get my guitar."_

* * *

It's a blessing and a curse- how observant I am of you.

It's always the eyes, right?

They never lie.

And they never looked at me the same way you looked at her.

Years go by swiftly with the seasons. A lot has changed but our friendship didn't; you're still my kid and I'm still Lia, the star dancer and the golden voice. Even the whole school says we're sisters.

You're a junior, I'm a senior. Prom is tomorrow.

You have something big planned, you said. And I had to laugh. You've always had a flair for dramatic, which was why you joined the theater troupe one time, but you'd rather do improv than stick to a script. You're so spontaneous; it's one of the things I love you for.

You told me to meet you where everything started. But when I saw you, it was like my whole world ended.

_"Hwang Yeji, will you go to prom with me?"_

_"Yes, I will, Ryujin!"_

Everything started to blur. Was it because of the tears in my eyes? How long have I been running? Where am I going?

Where do you go when there's no one to go to anymore?

 _Away,_ I think. _Anywhere, just as long as it's away from her- from them. Away from the pain and the hurt. Just away. Anywhere but here._

I kept running despite feeling my legs burning. It hurt, so much. My heart is aching- constricting. _I can't breathe._ I clutched my chest and tried to catch my breath. Still, I kept going.

I've always went the extra mile for you. But you never ran after me.

Then everything turned black.

* * *

You didn't tell me; and you tell me everything. Now I can't even say anything.

All eyes were on me but mine never left your casket. I felt numb. The wind was cold. Tears were running down everybody's faces like the raindrops on their umbrellas but my face was still dry. I was always more talkative but you always said the right words.

But apparently saying goodbye isn't in your vocabulary.

 _Why?!_ I wanted to shout. _Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you say goodbye? How could you leave me? I stayed, didn't I? Why did_ you _leave?_

I swallowed the lump in my throat. Fresh tears coated my cheeks. I forced my lips to smile.

"Thank you," I whispered.

* * *

Your dad approached after the service. He gave me a sky blue envelope.

"She wanted to give you this."

* * *

_Kid,_

_There are too many things I wanted to tell you but too little words to convey them._

_I'm sorry I didn't tell you about my heart cancer; there was never really an easy way to say it, so I ended up not saying it at all. But please know that I'm in a better place now. And so are you- you're with Yeji. Take care of her, okay? I know you love her as much as I love you._

_And yes, I love you- not as a little sister but so much more. You're everything to me, Ryujin, and all those little things mean the world to me; your hugs, our walks home, our banter during lunch, those days where we were so happy in the rain, those nights where everything felt heavy but at the end of it you made me feel weightless. No string of words are enough to express my love for you; and I could only hope my actions when I was alive were enough to make you feel at least a glimpse of it._

_Thank you for giving me the opportunity to love you. I gave you my whole heart and you took care of it, even if it wasn't in the way I wanted you to._

_You've always watched over me, so it's my turn to watch over you. Please, take care of yourself. Finish your lunch, and never forget your umbrella. Dance till your soul is content and fill your heart with memories you'll never forget. Live like I'm always by your side, because I am._

_I'm here for you, kid. I'll never leave._

_Your guardian angel,_

_Lia_

**Author's Note:**

> This is also posted on Twitter! Go follow me, I'm @shinapollo__ :D thank you for reading! <3


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